Let's talk a little about holding yourself back and how to not do that. Okay?
I want to be a person who does what I love the most without limitations sprung from worry over what other people might think. I think many can relate to that. It's one of those universal feelings we humans drag around without knowing how to get rid of.

The people I look up to the most are the ones who do what they do as largely as they possibly can. Seemingly free from ideas and restraints of how you "should be". Just doing their thing.
I often feel captured between a will to be free and wild in my (creative) expression and a fear that people will not like me. And that is the best way to not create anything interesting ever.

The other day I was struck by a realisation though.


The person you look up to the most (and maybe want to be like) are not loved by everyone. Because it's not possible to be unique and interesting without having people not liking you.


It was like turning on a lightswitch in my head. So simple, really, but earth shattering for me.
It's not possible to stand out and not have people who can't stand you (see what I did there?).
And I really really want to stand out.

Let's take an example:
At the moment I have a lot of time for myself. I'm alone during the days and therefore I take a lot of self portraits.
A fear that pops into my brain quite a lot though is the worry that people are going to see me as self absorbed, that they are going to misunderstand the purpose behind my pictures.
At the same time there's almost nothing that I enjoy more right now. I see myself grow through every self portrait I take, and what comes from having only myself as an instrument, has turned into this amazing way to express myself and be creative every day. Turn places and emotions into a stage bigger than what it was moments before.
And you know what? If someone sees me as narcissistic then okay, let them think that.
Hopefully there's at least some people who find what I do interesting and inspiring.

And if not- okay, I might need to go and turn that emotion into a self portrait though...

Both these self portraits are taken at David's office building here in LA during the weekends when there's nobody there except for us (and the labrador Matt who came to visit one time) And in both of them my face is lit by my iPad.

Until next time:

Tjingeling!
/Lotta
Show other posts
Shops Lotta Jewelry shop Photo shop