We have been here for almost three months now and I haven't felt the time pass.
It wasn't until I saw a friend post a picture of a blooming lilac bush on Facebook that I realised it's summer in Sweden now. It's not march or april, it's not even spring; it's summer.

In this town there's no seasons, not really. It's sunny, warm and dry almost every day. My body can feel some changes, the past week was not good for my head, it was sticky in the air and the grey skies lay heavy on my head and shoulders and hurt my eyes with a weird bright light that pierces through even the darkest of sunglasses.
But it's still just a variation of warm and sunny. And it's still summer.
So in my mind, in my body, time hasn't moved since we came here in march when the trees in Sweden had just started to get tiny leaves, and buds ready to burst the moment we left the country.
There's other things creating this strange time and space confusion in me.
I left a lot of things in Sweden and I haven't really replaced them with anything here. I'm not talking about stuff, those kinds of things are easily replaced or forgotten, but things that kept my mind busy and growing. You know- my job, my shop and all the work I did creatively, my friends.
I've been thinking a lot about this while we've been here. David is working long days and I have so many hours to fill. I was prepared, sort of; I knew I would have to keep myself busy until my part of this trip would start for real (because it will). But it's so very hard to create new things from nothing.
This is one thing I feel a purpose in- Writing. Another is Self Portraits. A third is working on evolving my creative work (jewelry, photos; art). But there isn't really any goals to work for, just the ones I'm making up for myself, and those can so easily be changed in a second if I don't feel them anymore. It's a sort of work/vacation vacuum, where nothing is familiar and all your fallbacks are in another country.
I see this part of my life as an experiment in Having nothing to do and What happens when your brain isn't challenged.
It's interesting. And quite frustrating.
And I think I will learn things about myself that I wouldn't otherwise.
So I try my hardest to fill my days and my brain with things in this weird time/space confusion I happen to exist in at the moment.
And I will share what discoveries this experiment leads to, if and when, I find them.


Also: this whole "I'm not going to blog iPhone photos anymore" thing is obviously not working out for me. My camera is way too heavy to carry around on my everyday adventures and my iPhone has proven to be a great companion in all of this, so without repeating everything I do on instagram, there will definitely be iPhone photos on this blog.
I actually have an idea; let's see if it will make me blog more. This post is a first try.

Until next time:
Tjingeling!
/Lotta

I woke up from my dream just when I was about to win the cabbage soup contest.
A man on the street, four stories down, was screaming at the top of his lungs "EEEEEVAAAA! Could you throw down my keys from the baaaalcoooonyyyy?!?"
Everybody in the neighbourhood must have heard (and startled awake from their sleep since it was far too early to be screaming to ladies from underneath balconies) and now we all know that this man forgot his keys on his way to work.

The air today is something special. So full of autumn, yet warm with the long lasting remnants of summer. To be able to enjoy our indian lunch outside on the second day of october is beyond amazing.
I have found a new café close to where we live. It is where I sit right now, all alone except for the owner. Having been open for business for only 6 weeks it's too early to know if the place is empty because it's so new nobody knows of it yet or if it's bound to die before it even got to live fully.

I'm trying to get into writing again. I used to write everyday.
I kind of broke that habit when I started blogging in English. I do not regret that decision; it needed to happen, but the joy of bending a language after my own rules seems almost impossible to find in English.
Before, if I made up my own words in Swedish, everybody would see that as a sign of me knowing my way around the words. But now, if I would do the same in English, I feel like people won't know the difference between me not knowing the languange and being a really brilliant word wizard.
And that makes it hard to be free when creating sentences.
And I want to be free.
And I want to write.
So I've made a decision. I'm going to write as if I am completely free and own my words in English the same way I do in Swedish.
It's all a matter of the mind, right?

My plan to get this wordly freedom started?
I'm going to sit at this 6 weeks old café (with two more customers now) and I'll drink my latte's and I'll write in a book, with a pen and look like I'm doing important stuff.
(Except for right now when I'm going to take a photo of said book and pen and reveal to all the people (two customers and one owner) that I'm maybe not that brilliant.)
When you're used to be able to twist and bend the language exactly to your liking it's kind of weird to realize you don't have enough words anymore.
I know I'm getting better. I know I'm not bad.
But I'm not as good as I am in Swedish and it doesn't really matter how much I want to be able to get my thoughts through the pen and onto the paper, it's not going to happen as fluidly as I would like it to.
So for me to decide "I know it won't be as great, but I'm still going to do this" takes some true willpower. And courage.
Because if it's one thing I hate it is to do things I'm not good at .
The year of creative bravery. That was the whole idea with 2014.
So let's be brave!

Hi!
I've always been a collector and I probably always will be. What I'm collecting though changes through time. If you ask me today I would say I collect old teapots, vintage clothes, hats, old postcards and photos of strangers and probably at least ten other things.
When I was a kid I collected pretty stationary, stamps, The Little Mermaid stickers and erasers.

Today when I cleaned out my desk drawers I found a cigar box and I looked at it for a while trying to remember what on earth could be in it. When I opened it I let go of a tiny laugh. One of those fond little giggles that slip out when you all of a sudden look at something from another time of your life and you get a flood of emotions that seem to have been stored in that little box since way back when.
I remember these erasers so well. I loved that little book even though it was absolutely rubbish as erasers go. That wasn't the point of it though. They were pretty and I could have them in my pen case in school and it was almost like having a little treasure with me everyday that I could fool the teachers into thinking they were just erasers, nothing more. Not pretty little tresaures to look fondly at when I was bored out of my mind in math class.

Then I found another collection but that is one that hasn't been planned. I didn't even know I had it.
Coins from around the world.
I have always liked to keep the coins left over from trips or given to me by my parents when I was a child but it was not a concious decision to start collecting coins. It just sort of happened along with life.
I used to store them in a little copper tin, that I made in school when I was 14, but the coins won't fit in it anymore and today when I looked through my drawers I found coins in every single drawer. From lots of different countries! Not worth much but still: coins!
I felt like Pippi Longstocking!

Two newfound treasures in one day.
That's a good start of the weekend, if I say so myself.

Some days you have a million ideas to blog but they aren't right for that exact day.
Sometimes it feels like you have to wait a little while, let the idea mingle with the synapses for a couple of days more and then it will be ready.
Maybe.
Because what happens if another new idea pops up before you have the chance to really dig down into that first one?
I'll tell you what usually happens. Nothing.
They just pile up in the brain and wait for another day in the unknown future.
Today is one of those "not today" days.
I have a folder filled with photos to blog but I just don't feel like blogging them right now. Maybe tomorrow? Yes, maybe.
I have a couple of ideas for blog posts that will take some time and dedication to plan out. My brain is NOT up for thinking too hard today.
I also have a really nice idea for a longer text but it might be even better if I can be patient a bit longer. Arghhh, I am so bad at being patient!
So what do I do? I look closely at the things surrounding me while I walk around in my apartment thinking of days in the future when it will be the perfect time for the blog posts sailing lazily on the waves of my mind.
And all of a sudden there are three Still lifes ready to be blogged right this minute.
It's strange, isn't it? It's all about timing. And synapses.