One day I’m wearing knitted over the knee socks in fall shoes, and the next it’s back to bare feet and sandals again. I have a new playlist that I’m premiering when I walk to the coffee shop to write. It’s mostly bouncy, happy and mysterious songs, because that’s what fit my step.
One song ends and Tous les mêmes by Stromae begins. I had forgotten I had added that one.
I wait for the light to turn green and the refrain comes on and my knees give out. They pulse to the rhythm, back and forth, and the beat carries me up on my tippy toes before taking off on a journey up through my legs, around my torso, my neck and into a huge smile on my lips. I bob my head and the light switches to green and I kinda skip across the street and who fucking cares because “Rendez-vous, rendez vous, rendez-vous….” and I don't even know French but you better believe I’m singing along.
I wish I could put this on speaker for the entire world because I want everybody to bounce their way forward with smiles that won't accept to stay hidden inside.

I order my iced coffee and with it in hand I go in search for a seat on the full patio. A new song comes on and it’s Tomboy by Princess Nokia, and two girls get up from their table and I snatch a chair in semi shadow while I lip sync the words “with my little titties and my phat belly” and I laugh because I wish I had sung them aloud.

I'm in the middle of in between.
Life’s been busy, exciting and overwhelming lately, and it feels safe to say that it’s about to be all those things soon again, but now is in between-time.
It reminds me of when we first came here. While it’s not the same, it has some connecting points, and that's what we do - find the similarities to create a sense of understanding.
Music resonates with me even more than usual, in a way that I can’t remember it having done before. I go way back in my playlists to find the most nostalgic ones, and every song throws me back in time to another place in time, shuffling out jumbled memories from my life.

The Coral- Dreaming of you
I’m walking the streets of Lund, finding my place in my very first apartment, living by myself, studying theatre history, and making new friends. I go out on the weekends and I dance until I’m a sweaty mess. It's wonderful and a little bit scary.
Regina Spektor- Some days
It's summer, I’m working at a group home in my old home town, singing loudly to the empty corridors in the evening, finding that I love this work but knowing clear as day “I should be acting, this is just temporary.”
Nick Drake- Northern Sky
Back in Lund but now it’s winter. Writing my first paper and studying for tests with a new friend, sitting in my mint green kitchen drinking tea and laughing at jokes from the tv show Friends that we both love and know every episode of by heart.
Bright eyes- Lover I don't have to love
A friend from class kills herself right around Halloween and I’m in shock. There’s so much sorrow and confusion mixed in with living life. Listening to music with sadness and power, and crying loudly with the melodies. So many wonderful, exciting things are happening but how can I be both sad and happy at the same time and I never expected to lose a friend like that. My view on life changes this fall.
Laura Marling- Cross your fingers
Living in Gothenburg now, walking home from a job that makes me miserable, but knowing that David is waiting in my apartment and we’ll take the tram over the bridge to the best Indian restaurant in town. Some days he leaves a funny, yet romantic, note on my coat room floor before taking the train back to his (and my old) hometown. I’m so very much in love.
Atomic Swing- Too late to exit
Going way back to the early 2000s, at the acting school in the middle of nowhere. I wake up early even though it's the weekend and none of my house mates are awake yet. I walk across the lawn outside the student houses, on my way to the gym, to dance alone on the large floor, feeling free and hopeful and rich with friends and creativity.
Florence The Machine- Rabbit Heart (Raise it up)
We have an apartment together now, with a large room for work. David is sitting by his computer on the other side of the room, and I’m editing photos of the jewelry I make and sell. We go for evening walks over the cemetery, and I long for a day when I can work creatively all hours of the day. Projects together, by myself, and no limits.

And now, here I am, standing in our LA kitchen crying because of all emotions possible. It's not sad, it’s powerful. And although music have always done this to me it’s almost too much now. Every song in this playlist have a memory attached to it and remembering everything at once is close to unbearable, but I crave it. It makes the in between-time less of an in between and more of a Right Now.
What songs will remind me of now if I only listen to songs connected to a different time?
Am I reshaping the memories connected to each song into something new?
Something now.

Hej!
I wrote a list of ten things about me, because I love reading those kind of random facts about other people.

Soooo, hopefully you enjoy lists like that too, because here's 10 random things about me!

1: I have a tattoo on my toe. It’s a very simple labyrinth. I got it when I was 16 at a place that did the tattoos the old fashioned way, no machines just a needle with ink in it. You can get a glimpse of my tattoo in the end of our short Not So Fast.

2: I have never dyed my hair. I was bullied for my red hair when I was a kid and my reaction was to LOVE my hair and always be proud of it. It is slowly fading and getting grey so I might have to dye it in the future just to feel like myself.

3: I decided I wanted to become an actor when I was eleven and joined a amateur kids theatre group and fell completely in love with acting.

4: David I were a couple when we were 11 (a lot happened when I was eleven apparently). We were together for 6 months which is like a life time at that age and I used to joke all through my young adult years that my best relationship was back when I was 11. In 2006 we found each other again (that’s another story) and this winter we’ve been together for 10 years.

5: I love popcorn and always bring my own when I go to the cinema. Because theatre popcorn taste like fart.

6: I collect vintage teapots and have 10 in Sweden. I brought one of my favorites with me to LA in my hand luggage.

7: I hate doing things I’m not already good at. That’s why I don’t do sports.

8: I have a big birth mark over my left eye that people sometimes mistake for a part of my eyebrow. I love it and refuse to cover it up.

9: I had epilepsy when I was younger. I’ve been seizure free for many many years and am considered cured but I still cover my eyes when movies flicker too much. And if I’m in a club and the stroboscope is going for too long I tell the dj I have epilepsy and they get super scared and turn it off. He he.

10: When I was a kid I first wanted to be a singer, then a dancer and after that I settled for actor. I still hope to sing in a band or make a record someday. I apparently have a tendency of wanting to make my hobbies into professions. I did it with my jewelry and photography too. I just can't see myself having a job that isn't creative. Dancing is mostly for fun though.

And that was ten things about me.

/Lotta

I realized I needed a real headshot (Not just selfies and outfit photos, hehe). At first I had planned to take it myself but since I took Davids headshot I thought it would be fun if he took mine. I like it very much.

I also like this one with my Peekaboo Tooth:

There was A LOT of photos that featured Peekaboo Tooth- making the prettiest photo look super silly.

One of the reasons for the headshot was that I wanted a photo on my imdb page! And here it is!

Since we have a full kitchen now it’s so fun to cook again! I’m not very fond of the gas oven though. Yesterday we got an oven thermometer and found out that when the oven should be 350 f it was really only 275 f. So now I know why everything I’ve made this far has been undercooked. Anyways, we celebrated by cooking this lovely dinner.
Pan fried sun chokes in sage butter and Baked Parmesan Cod. Very very tasty! And super fancy on a monday. I made a cold sauce to go with it all, with sourcream, garlic, parmesan, salt and pepper. By the way: Sun chokes!!! OMG! SO tasty! We had fried sun chokes (omg omg omg!) at a restaurant a few days ago and now I’m HOOKED!

An apartment update:

We have a table and chairs now. Our place feel like home.

My book. Looking pretty as all hell. I’m working on the shop details, so stay tuned.

A Hollywood update:
I realized I hadn't showed you this yet! David made a little video about Lights Out and what’s been going on. He’s planning on doing a series of behind the scenes videos showing you the work that went into turning Lights Out into a feature film. It feels so good to finally be able to talk about this. Hopefully we’ll have a trailer to show you soon too.

Other than that:
I have been fighting my chronic urticaria lately. Something I’m not going to show a picture of, because YUCK. Think boiling lizard skin and you’re close. We’ve been talking about how to use it in one of our horror shorts but we haven't figured out how to solve the problem with me mostly crying from itchiness. So here's a selfie from when I was bored from itching all day, and I put on a velvet cape and a leaf hat just to have something to do.

Oh, and here's me and a cactus.
Yesterday was COLD. And windy.

Well, that was all for now.
Talk to you again soon!

/Lotta