2015 was a year for the books.
Strangely (stupidly?) enough I didn’t blog a lot, so let’s hope I’ll remember it all without evidence in dated blog posts.
I have been thinking about how to do the yearly recap this time, it’s not as easy as usual because I don’t have a lot of entries to back up the rambling. So I’m gonna ramble, mkay?
Self Portrait for my series A Lotta Dancing. "Rotvälta"
At new years 2014 I decided that 2014 was going to be The year to be brave. And I think that turned out to be true, in many ways. At the start of 2015 I knew that big things were about to happen with Lights Out so I didn’t really decide on a plan of action. If anything, I decided to follow along on whatever were to happen.
And that has sort of been the theme for this entire year.
Just follow along, and see what happens.
A lot of things have happened.
2015 started with a whole lot of waiting. David were in talks with Hollywood about turning Lights Out into a feature film, and the plans were so far along that we knew we would have to relocate to Los Angeles for a while. We didn’t know when though, and we didn’t know for sure. Hard to plan your life when you don’t know for sure.
I blogged a bit:
We kept busy making things. We had an idea for a new horror short and went location scouting in the woods. Sweden decided to turn into the most beautiful winter wonderland and we tried to work with it but it was just too cold and snowy for us, so we went home and made Attic Panic
Self portraits taken at the hotel those first two weeks.
And then one day Hollywood called and said ”Can you come on Friday?”.
On the last day of March we took a plane to Los Angeles. We had a hotel to stay in for the first couple of weeks before we could find something a little more permanent.
In the first couple of weeks David didn’t have too much work to do, so we went to the zoo, had sandwiches with a view from Mulholland drive and ate a lot of frozen yoghurt.
We made it our thing to have "dinner with a view".
I went into this entire adventure knowing that I would be alone a lot. And that I wouldn't have anything to do during the days. So I was kinda prepared, but it was still strange. To be in a country where I’m not allowed to work, where I don’t know anybody and where I don't have any of my things for jewelry making.
We moved to a tiny house in Burbank and I started to investigate our neighborhood.
During all this time it was still a secret to the world what David and I were even doing in LA.
For almost a year we carried around this huge secret about the most exciting thing in our lives, it makes for quite a lonely life not to be able to talk about such a huge thing.
Our families and closest friends knew of course and talking on the phone with them was always great.
I thought I was going to blog every day, but when I couldn’t tell all of you about the reasons behind our adventure in the first place, I just didn’t know how to blog anymore. And that feeling has been hard to shake (I hope I’ll want to blog more in 2016 but for the everyday life there’s always instagram. Go follow!
But then, in June, we could start telling the world
Self portraits at our Burbank home in the top two photos, and at our Hollywood Hills home in the bottom two.
We visited friends in the Santa Cruz mountains a weekend in May. They took us to the beautiful Point Lobos beach and I blogged one of my favorite posts of the year
During this time we started to work on getting me into the movie as well. It was a nerve wracking time for me, because what if I came all the way from Sweden, for a shortfilm I was part of making, and didn’t get anything. That would have sucked so hard.
I was scared, and nervous and felt very powerless. I’m not used to not being able to make things happen for myself. And Hollywood is a scary place.
Especially if you are a woman. And you maybe don’t fit into the very narrow Hollywood ideals.
In July the part was mine. But I needed a visa to be able to work, so after applying for that a whole new game of waiting started before the All Clear came.
July was also the month when David started shooting Lights Out.
I went to the film set every other day. It was amazing to see how everything worked, but most of all it was wonderful to see David direct.
David needed a photo of him looking "Directorly" so I took this of him. It's my favorite photo ever of David.
Some behind the scenes photos from my days on set.
Being a Director’s wife on set is not the same as being an Actor on set. Even though it was nice to be able to come and go as I wanted, it was AMAZING to be there as a part of the crew. A meaningful person for the making of the movie.
I had a trailer. And hair and makeup people that came in between scenes and made sure every hair lay right and that my makeup didn’t move in the heat.
Being in all that hustle and bustle was fantastic!
After shooting was over David had a few days off and we went to a cabin in the woods to relax. It was heaven.
These photos from El Matador Beach went unblogged because my computer broke down right around that time. I really love them though, so I'm showing you now instead. I especially like the photo of the boy and his shadow sketching. I also like the one with the young couple hugging. They had their engagement photos taken there on the beach and I sneakily took a photo of them while they were being photographed.
We went to Palm Springs and celebrated our second wedding anniversary. It was insanely hot. We drove around and stopped to take photos that I showed you in the post Lost in the desert
I spent a lot of my days this year walking around with my camera. When we moved to Hollywood Hills in september I documented one of my long walks in photos. A walk over the hills.
We moved from Burbank to Hollywood hills and it was like something switched in me. The neighborhood was beautiful and I could walk places every day. I started taking lessons from an Accent reduction coach, not to totally rid my accent but to feel more secure in talking English. It’s hard to act in another language than your own- All those little nuances that you know without even thinking about them aren't there anymore. I felt like I was starting from scratch with my acting, and that is not a great feeling when you’ve been acting since you were eleven.
I needed to build confidence in my work all over again.
The accent classes were exactly what I needed!
I also went to improv classes and that was great for me, as I’m used to being completely in control on stage or when making the horror shorts with David. In Improv I had to just let go.
It was so hard. Fun but hard. I’m going to keep taking improv classes during 2016. And acting classes too.
Birthday gal and pelican!
One day we went looking for a war era enigma
that I'd read about on the internet. It was like finding ourselves in an Indiana Jones movie!
Some self portraits from in and around the pre production office for Lights Out.
During all this I've been working on a project by myself. I decided over a year ago to really take advantage of the fact that I would be alone a lot in LA, and make a book of self portraits. I bought a tripod for my iphone and set out to capture scenes everywhere I went. Sort of like learning Los Angeles through self portraits. That book is finished now and I'll show it to you soon. It's called Alone in LA and I'm extremely proud of it.
The highlight was when I had the opportunity to roam around an abandoned hospital two days in a row. I took so many self portraits in those scary hallways.
Anyways. The last couple of months of 2015 was all about finding routines, sort of. We were still living in tiny furnished apartments and had realized we needed to find something more permanent. Because we’re staying in LA for a good while. I spent my days walking, drinking tea at cafes and making the photo book Alone in LA.
Probably my favorite self portrait of the year, if I HAVE to choose just one. Taken at our friends place in the Santa Cruz mountains.
Going home to Sweden over christmas was wonderful, but you know what? I missed LA.
We had a new apartment waiting for us when we got back, and I can't wait to start turning that place into a home.
That’s what’s been missing. A sense of home.
When we now got back to LA it’s with so much more confidence than when we got here on the last day of march and I can't wait to see what 2016 brings.
If I dare to hope (and dream and plan) it’s for a daily life that feels fulfilling, new projects- together as well as by myself- and a true feeling of belonging.
Oh, and did I tell you? Lights Out is coming to theaters July 22! ISN’T IT FRICKING AWESOME?!?!?!
Oh, and if you're interested in reading some more, here's a few text posts from 2015 that I'm particularly proud of: Catching up on yourselfBudget wardrobe tips and tricksTo stand out The feeling of not yet knowingMen writing women
I'm just popping in to show you two things.
First: Lights Out was featured at a film festival at the island Gotland in Sweden. In an old ruin at night.
This feels like the perfect way to see our shorts! I so wish I could have been there to see it, but I was really happy that they sent us this photo that gives a good idea of the atmosphere there.
Photo: Sandra Fröberg, Film på Gotland.
In other Lights Out news: we counted the views on all the different uploads of Lights Out. It's up to a total of 104 million views.
That is just completely bananas.
A few weeks ago we found this facebook upload
that has an insane amount of views, and there's a bunch of uploads on youtube as well (this
is our official upload though).
I still can't grasp the enormity of this thing. I probably never will.
And the other thing I wanted to show you is this photo I took of David yesterday. He needed a photo for professional reasons and we had maybe four minutes to take it before he needed to get to work and I had to get ready for my Accent Reduction lesson.
I am so happy with the result because take a look at that handsome man! My husband who hates getting his picture taken, looking all happy and relaxed. And beautiful.
Okay, that was all for today.
Hope you'll have a great weekend, and talk to you soon!
Today Swedish radio station P3 aired an interview with me for their segment about Swedes abroad (Svensken i Världen, Verkligheten i P3). I talked about the amazing journey it has been, and still is, after Lights Out went viral but I also mentioned the not so great experience of having my looks reviewed by men on the internet.
If you know Swedish you can listen to it here
It was so much fun to be interviewed about this whole experience and I think it went really well.
And let's take a look at some photos from the two days filming my scenes in Lights Out the other week.
I had a trailer to relax in, just like "real stars". And obviously I had to take silly self portraits to show off my new found Diva status.
Being pampered between takes by Hair, Makeup and Wardrobe.
I had a blast filming and really hope this is just the beginning for me. I was quite nervous before shooting because this was the first time I acted in English. It's scary to act in another language than your own, but I think it went well.
This week it's been 38 celsius degrees outside, and that is just way too many celsius degrees for me! On friday we're going to Palm Springs over the weekend (because on monday next week we celebrate our two year wedding anniversary!) and it's supposed to be around 42 celsius degrees there. I'm terrified.
I will be staying in the pool the entire weekend, that's for sure!
Talk to you soon, dear friends and readers.
OMG! I'm the worst blogger ever right now!
It's like time is just running through my fingers and all of a sudden three weeks have gone by.
Sorry for that! But like I told you in my last post I can't talk a lot about what happens on set and since that is about all that is going on in my head right now it's very hard to find things to blog about. Or even get the thought "I need to blog now".
But I realised today I actually DO have things I want to show you about what's going on in my life. So let's do that!
We spent the weekend before shooting started at the production office. We haven't been there since, and I had a feeling it would be long until next time, so I went bananas with the self timer up on the roof. I really like those moments alone exploring, jumping around and running back and forth to set the timer/look at the photo I just took to see if it turned out any good.
David on the first day of filming! Look how cute!
I have been at the set every other day. I come and go as I want to and it feels good to have a couple of days for myself every now and then. When I'm not at the filmset I'm walking around in Burbank where we live and sit at cafés writing. Here's a pine tree lined street close to us that is mysterious and dark usually, but when someone has watered the street at the same time as their gardens, it turns into an even more beautiful scene.
I would get super bored if I would only do one or the other (alone days or hanging out at the set) but now as I can choose to mix it up I really enjoy the days I have on my own.
The movieset is super exciting with lots of people running around doing their thing and I find it so amazing to see David working so surely with experienced actors and film crew. It's such a huge leap to go from making movies just two people in an apartment to making a studiofilm in Hollywood. I'm beyond impressed with how awesome David is in this situation.
A couple of hands I found on a wall that are both cute and extremely spooky at the same time. Baby ghost hands!
When we had only been in LA for a couple of weeks our wonderful neighbours knocked on our door and gave me this shirt. They had found it in a store and had to buy it for me because it happened to have Lights Out written on it.
It has nothing to do with our film but I obviously feel like it's meant to be so I wore it on set and felt like a fangirl all day.
On the first weekend after filming started we switched the production office for the filmset. I found spooky places in the large building and obviously got good use of my gorillapod and self timer. I'm really fond of the light and shadows in this photo. I love using what is around me and this is a perfect example of how to get the surroundings to work in your favour.
And I definitely can't resist a good hallway.
On the last day at the first filming location they filmed some outdoor scenes and it was a lot of work before they could take a break for food. Since I do what I feel like when I'm there I fetched a cup of coffee and went up on the roof for some alone time. It was during golden hour so the light was just beautiful. I took some photos and then I realised I could see what the film crew was up to from my spot above.
Looking down at people who don't know they are being watched...
Then David walked past and I sent him a text that he should look up. When he saw me he came up on the roof too. He had a few minutes to breath (and make out) away from the hustle and bustle of the movieset. It was a perfect moment. One of those you'll remember forever.
The view was kinda amazing.
I have been taking a bunch of outfit photos as well. This one was to show off my new second hand blouse that stops at the waist, covers my shoulders and is made in a cool and breezy fabric.
Talking about clothes, I had my costume fitting for Lights Out last week. Such a cool feeling! And it made everything feel a little bit more real too. I got my visa so that I can work in the film and I have a part and it's just so amazing everything!
I can't wait until it's my turn to get infront of the camera. And I am actually the only one in this production that have been directed by David before this! HA! And I'm not intimidated by Mr Hollywood Director so I'm going to pretend it's just like when we make our horror shorts at home. Nothing more, nothing less (Let's see how that goes).
a self portrait on one of my walks to the closest Starbucks for some coffee and writing.
Last friday at the new filming location. I took a coffee break under some trees in the beautiful garden.
This monday, out walking, finding surroundings that match my outfit.
And yesterday at the filmset. They were shooting one of the most difficult scenes in the movie light wise. There was so much people running around and there was a lot of last minute details that had to be decided.
I love this photo of David all lit up when he's thinking real hard on how to solve a problem, and all those people around him, in the dark.
David (second to the left) and the producers talk through a difficult scene in the dramatic smokey film light.
Just a prop master with a plastic man over his shoulder.
So I hope you liked to see and read a little about what's been going on these past three weeks. My plan is that you won't have to wait as long until my next blog post, but who knows really!
It's probably the strangest time in my life right now and I have sort of decided to not force anything. This entire experience is so far from every day life that we just have to take every day as it comes. It's both scary and exciting, obviously. But I feel strangely calm about everything. But that's the true nature of an adventure, isn't it?
Talk to you soon, okay?!